The eve before my early morning flight to Florida found me tapped from the wild week that had ensued. It was close to 11pm and I had not packed one single thing. My only option? To rise much earlier than usual Saturday morning and pack…and oh how I dread packing!
But there I was at 4am, cross-eyed from lack of sufficient sleep, stumbling my way into the bathroom to begin my morning applying Root Tip to my wild mane. Breakfast, emails and a quick shower by 5am and it was time to pack. Urrrrr!!!
Without much thought, I threw all the usual pieces into my carry-on bag – two bathing suits, workout attire, several shorts, socks, undergarments, light dresses, casual tops and a pair of jeans that I’ve had for ten years! “Geez”, I thought to myself as I threw the jeans in the case, “do these even fit?” Ummm…too late now…it’s time to go!
As you might guess since you are reading this, I arrived safely. No need to bore you with the details of my whirlwind trip – sunburned teenagers, golf with a Shark, sleeping more than five hours a night, and beautiful sunsets – I’ll take that all over again!
But much to my surprise, this trip turned out to be more about a new mindset surrounding that “thing” on my backside. Yep, you guessed it – my booty! It had grown and my bathing suits and that ten-year-old pair of jeans confirmed it
Twelve intense weeks of powerlifting training had changed my physique – but I truly never realized how much. Sure, as a fitness coach, I know the process as I relay it to women almost daily…
“YOU will always be the last to see any transformation!”
So why me, why this trip…why, why, why??? Clearly it was in my head and affecting me more than it should have.
It’s OK for my body to change, right? That’s the byproduct of any training program. But maybe I wasn’t prepared for my clothes to not fit as usual. Maybe I wasn’t ready for a mindset shift as to why the change. Maybe I wasn’t thrilled that I was questioning myself regarding my powerlifting goal.
Maybe, just maybe, this was normal to have a momentary lapse of sanity when it came to self-acceptance.
With self-acceptance, embracing all facets of ourselves is essential – not just the positive, more “esteem-able” parts. As such, self-acceptance is unconditional with freedom from any qualifications. Thus liking ourselves more – or getting on better terms with ourselves – has more to do with self-acceptance than self-esteem (as we tend to think). And it’s only when we stop judging ourselves that we can secure a more positive sense of who we are.
“We stop judging ourselves” – UGH!!! The constant barrage in my head of what others might be thinking or whispering as I walked the beach. Make the noise cease – pretty please?!?
I’m not sure at what point my mind shifted…but it did. Probably thanks to my teenage daughter kindly reminding me of the part of her that still thinks and feels so freely, untainted by our wild world.
Nobody is truly watching like we think they are.
Nobody cares as much as we think they do.
Nobody but our own self is judging as harsh.
And nobody minded that I grew a booty…
“May your own acceptance set you free.