Day 153 // The Sequel – Survivorship

 

Two weeks from today my post-chemo CT scan is scheduled. While the results will not be immediate, we will know within days if the past five months of treatment was a success.

And what does that ultimately mean? My life will no longer be dictated by needles, drugs, appointments at infusion centers, radiation machines, follow up appointments, fatigue, bone pain, hair loss, bandanas, wigs and more appointments.

It all sounds great, right? Not so fast.

The words ‘remission’ and ‘survivorship’ will now rule my world. And with them, a new set of thoughts and emotions to combat.

Will the “C” return? If it does, will it be worse? Will I have to undergo chemo ever again? Can I make it 5 years to gain the official diagnosis of “cured”? Will anxiety and depression take over? Will I view life, people and situations differently? Will I feel guilty as a survivor? Do I live in fear or walk in faith?

Only time will tell what ‘my sequel’ holds. But one thing I do know, “C” did not bring me to my knees – it brought me to my feet. And therefore, I stand on solid ground, stable and strong, ready to for my next fight!