Day 39 // It’s OK


I cannot lie…I hit a wall today. Five sleepless nights and my body was screaming for HELP!

Exhilarated by a strength class that included my sister’s participation, the day was off to a positive start. But progressively the tug to be so much to so many was slowly ripping my soul. My mind and body needed rest – but I could not see light in such a dark tunnel.

Barely able to drive home from lunch with the family, tears streamed down my face. My car could not move fast enough – my motor skills intoxicated with weariness.

Walking in the door, I flung my purse and phone aside with little care for where they landed. Rushing to my bed, I exhaled like never before. Holding so much in, my release was long overdue. Hadn’t I learned my lesson? Or maybe the chemo-induced insomnia or menopausal madness was taking its toll. Whatever the case, I longed to step off the roller coaster ruling my life.

It was 3:30 PM – fast forward – 9:30 PM read the clock. Yes, six hours of uninterrupted sleep. Sigh.

Glaring at me like the sun on a bright day, my heart and mind were reminded of the obvious – that some days, it’s OK to not be OK.

And back to sleep I go. Sweet dreams!