Day 139 // Just Because

As we cuddled in bed on Sunday evening, a commercial appeared on television for a cancer treatment center. Tears trickled from my eyes as David gently placed his hand on mine.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yes…I think so,” whispering as my head turned towards the window to the dark sky. A million thoughts racing but only one captured my heart – the days before, the ones that lay ahead. And just because.

Shopping on Black Friday – not quite at 4 AM! A brisk afternoon, tamed chaos, Gia longing to be part of the experience, venturing out together. Just because.

Working out ladies early on Saturday – fueled by their inner warrior, exuding strength, determined to achieve. I’d unlock the studio doors for them at any hour. Just because.

Cleaning out the kitchen cabinets with David that afternoon – prepping for a demo, jazz harmony setting the tone, quality time with hubby. Relishing our compatibility as it hasn’t always been. Just because.

Basking in the night’s sounds and sights while shopping and savoring the holiday spirit permeating the city. Team Underhill – my family, my world – no option but to win. Just because.

Adorning our house in holiday decor on Sunday – evergreen, burgundy, traditional. Gia’s unique sense of style gracing this season. Chemo’s push to pull me down – unwavering in my determination. Just because.

December awaits and with it parties and events we might otherwise have said ‘no’ to. A Christmas Carol, Awaited, festivities abound – surrounding ourselves with love and light. Just because.

January will ring in with new beginnings, innocent blankets of snow, a fresh start. Yet there will always be that phone call in May – no boundaries, never the same, forever changed.

And every day forward – with no guarantees – I vow to do whatever it takes to be present, in the moment, living versus existing. Just because.