Day 41 // ‘No’ is the new ‘Yes’!


“Love yourself enough to say ‘no.’ YOU deserve your love and affection.”

Surprise – I’m a people pleaser! Wow…when did that revelation happen? Must be from the chemo!

But I also know so many of you are as well – yes ladies I’m talking to you! Our desire to ensure that everyone around us is happy however can send us in a downward spiral. Have you been there? It’s not pretty.

Disappointing the people we love can be one of the most challenging battles within ourselves leaving us feeling despondent that we have hurt or let others down. Not knowing how to say ‘no’ – apologizing incessantly, spending money when we’d rather not, reaching beyond our emotional means and stretching ourselves so thin we barely have any energy left for ourselves – can leave us drained and bitter.

But giving love to others can be so gratifying – I get that and so do you! We know this all too well – right ladies? The feeling of being alive when we share our warm spirit with those around us is like no other. Happiness, appreciation, and affection surround our hearts when we see the ones we care about content – because human connection is one of the most essential experiences we can have in life!

However, we are so busy giving away love to others that we forget to give love to ourselves – what?? We loathe the idea of denying people the things they want of us. Yet we don’t think twice when it comes to being honest about our wants and desires, ultimately rejecting them in some way. And those blurred lines of what we want to do and what we feel we should or have to do causes loss in our own personal journey. By not loving ourselves enough – or at all – we actually self-sabotage our lives not granting ourselves the permission to live fully, proudly and seek our destiny.

Love matters – and it just might be the thing that matters most! Remembering to start with ourselves first may be the most difficult challenge we face (especially us women!). Loving ourselves enough to say ‘no’ when necessary, to make time for the things that bring us joy and to live the life we’re dreaming of is not something we are taught (or maybe I skipped Love Myself 101, 201, 301 in school).

Certainly this does not mean you should be selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed – oh no, not at all! What I am suggesting, however, is that being self-aware and doing self-check-ins are completely necessary. Love yourself enough to know that sometimes being a little selfish can help you be more selfless – that ‘no’ will lead to ‘yes.’ And realizing that the simple act of listening to our needs and wants, acknowledging them authentically, can better help us be that way with our loved ones (trust me on this one).

Bottom line – giving love to ourselves first can help us give more love to others.

Love can be the greatest gift we give. It can uplift, inspire, give hope and change someone’s entire life (including your own). So yes, spread love in as many ways as possible and show people love in as many ways as you can.

But in doing that, don’t forget to start with the most important person of all – YOU!