Day 47 // Shifting


I’m not sure when the shift occurred. But nonetheless it has.

As a family, we began this journey on separate ships – similar to the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria setting sail for America with one goal but each ship navigating the waters as they saw fit.

Post diagnosis, we were numb in our thoughts and feelings as we looked towards a daunting mountain climb. Few words were spoken as I’m not certain we knew what to do or say to one another. The silence was painful.

The surgery was less complicated as we approached it very matter of fact. Hopes were high that this was a “one and done” situation. Surgery would remove the cancer, maybe a few weeks of radiation at best and ta-da! Life goes back to normal.

But with the introduction of chemo, life changed…and so did we. Darkness crept into our lives, pushing us further away than we already were. Almost tornado-like, devastation hit quickly and tore us to pieces. Our individual needs and those from each other were suffering. The how’s and why’s were desperate to shout out yet we would not allow. Compassion, support and love should have been the vocal ones but instead anger, fear, sadness and fright screamed at the top of their lungs.

Broken…shattered like glass…tears…flowing too fast to stop. And after numerous nights spent with Gia waking me up at 2am fearful of the unknown, it was obvious we needed help. And help we sought.

It has only been one month but one more than we did not have. With a better understanding of the challenge before us, respect for each other’s thoughts, emotions and needs has emerged. This is no longer my journey, but rather our journey. In this together, we are fighting for Team Underhill and not just Beth. Individually we are undoubtedly our own, but together we now know we can change the game.

There is no strength without unity. And where there is unity, there is always victory!

Celebrating today, my “twins” enjoyed a new app called Musicly while I slept for four hours. Gia and David’s love and support is stronger than ever. We could not be more blessed at this moment.

Hugs, strength and love to you all!