I hit a wall…

No, I’m not talking about crashing my car into one.  And, no, I’m not referring to how tired I might feel and in desperate need of a nap.

It’s the wall of life – the one that rises up out of nowhere, smacks you dead in the face – leaving bloody lips from which you can no longer speak and bruised eyes unable to find clarity. 

Ugh!  Anyone else feel this way? 

“Move forward!” I shout to myself.  Yet the tension between what I want to do and what I can quickly threaten to become a crippling frustration.

Feeling overwhelmed at times by advice, helpful strategies and enlightening insight, I feel like a deer in the personal-growth headlights paralyzed by possibilities.  Which way do I go – this way or that?  I see the light shinning ever so slightly above the wall.  It’s figuring out how to get over it, between here and there, that creates my tension.

But is this tension a bad thing?  Growth requires movement, or so I’m told.   And movement creates tension between where we are and where we’re going.  

Bam!  The wall hits me. 

Whosh!  The wind is knocked out of my dreams.

Now what? 

“What is this wall?” I ask myself.    

Is it an excuse?  It would be easy to slip in an excuse disguised as an immovable barrier.  Maybe there is no wall!  It’s in my head. 

Should I talk to it?  Will it talk back?  Maybe I created this wall.  Maybe I don’t have the skills to get over it.  And maybe, just maybe, the wall is telling me to grow elsewhere.

Is there another way over it?  Thomas Edison seems to think so.  I guess there’s no harm in exploring that!

Hmmm…

Refusing to come to a complete stop like the roller coasters of Kings Island, quite possibly the answer lies in commitment or re-commitment to trusting myself and believing in who I am. 

Ah…yes!  I know better.  For when I speak faith over my future, shunning any fear, the wall always crumbles before me.