Yep, it’s summer! And swimsuit season is in full force. Either we love it or we loathe it – right?
Ok, so true story…
Last week Gia and I ventured to Target (the bathing suit mecca) as she wanted to find a new suit for her class swim party. Who are we kidding – Target is the perfect place for someone her age (14) to buy a new suit from year to year, or beginning of season to end of it, as her body is changing almost daily and the prices are unbeatable!
So there we were shopping for swimsuits and Gia kindly pointed out one that she thought would look good on me.
“Mom, you need something new!” she exclaimed.
Of course, I responded with my usual – “I don’t NEED anything but I might WANT something!”
Insert eyeroll from Gia here! 🤔
But she was right. I had been tired of my suits and, quite frankly, they no longer fit the same as when I orginally purchased them. Sigh…
#Truth – Since venturing into powerlifting, I’ve transformed from an hourglass figure to a more boxy shape. I’m mostly Ok with that, although some of my clothes fit a bit different including my swim suits. No longer are my current ones that collect dust in the bottom drawer of the spare bedroom dresser as flattering to my newfound physique leaving my level of excitment to wear one as just “meh”!
But this suit gave me hope – maybe because it caught Gia’s eye or maybe I just NEEDED it to work.
So there I was in the dressing room trying the suit on. Immediately I fell in love with it – SCORE! But for whatever reason I was hesitant to purchase it – UGH!
Having not treated myself to anything lately, guilt reared it’s ugly head. Vacillating like a ping pong game, my thoughts were on that darn suit the remainder of our shopping excursion. And to no one’s surprise, as we entered the checkout line, I kindly handed the suit over to the cashier and stated I had changed my mind. The disappointment in Gia’s eyes spoke volumes!
What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I ‘owning my strong’? Where was this doubt coming from?
Trust. I didn’t trust ME! My new figure was playing mind games…and I was falling for it! One of the incredible benefits to my newfound physique is that I have more strength than ever before – and I’m older too! So why would I let asthetics be a factor in preventing me from OWNING ME?!?!
There was alot to ponder that night…
Fast forward to Memorial Day and a trip to my sister’s like house found me ONLY wearing the top of a patriotic bikini. Geez…what had me so nerved? Why on earth did I not feel comfortable wearing the entire swimsuit and showing off my new boxy figure? Annoyance with myself only tipped the surface of how I was feeling that day – deep in my own head space!
Thank goodness Tuedsay afternoon had me driving back to Target for a new phone charger. As Gia was cleaning earlier in the day, her charger was accidentally sucked up in the vacuum. Don’t ask me how as I wasn’t there to witness it. As any mom would be, I was just happy she was cleaning! 😂
Nonetheless, curiosity had me wandering towards the swimsuit section to see if ‘it’ was still there. Boo! My size was no longer available…fudge…I guess it wasn’t meant to be…or maybe it is!
Maybe there’s another suit out there. Maybe I just need to go find the suit that fits me RIGHT NOW! Maybe…just maybe.
#Reality – From year to year our bodies change, right? It’s inevitable! We all want to step on that scale and weigh the same as we did 20 years ago, 10 years ago or maybe even one year ago. But we don’t. Between having children, aging and gravity, our bodies are never the same from year or year, or day to day for that matter! Yet we channel so much hope into thinking they will remain the same.
I work my tail off when it comes to my lifting program. There’s a goal – to compete in a powerlifting competition – and the end is in sight. But I let ME get in the way of both my head and my goal by allowing myself to be defined by how I look in a bathing suit. URRRRRR!!!!!
As I pondered this craziness, thank goodness for a full moon charging my meditating crystal. Because clarity was soon found.
“I NEED TO FIND MY FIT!”, screaming out my window early Wednesday morning (like 4:45 am) as I drove to the studio for my assigned boot camp sessions. My body has changed and along with it my mind needs to change too. I need to find my FIT with the swimsuit just like I need to find my FIT when it comes to fitness, or nutrition, or friends, or the workplace…whatever and wherever it is! Sure, you’ve heard me talk about “finding your fit before” And you really need to own that – just like I do! Because life will change and the way our bodies were yesterday won’t be the same as they will be tomorrow. We need to recognize that, own our strong and move forward.
Because when you find your fit, that’s when you find your confidence. And NOTHING will stop you!